Living in other people's shoes

Many years ago I had a walking holiday in the Lake District, youth hostelling from place to place as the custom was in those days.  I remember standing by Lake Ullswater one fine morning after an open-air breakfast of freshly caught fish which a young fellow in our group caught for me and presented to me the night before to gut and clean!! But they were delicious.  I gazed about me with delight.  It was breathtaking. The air was crisp and smelt of woodsmoke and salty air.  Then I heard a conversation taking place in a nearby group.  I think they were Americans, very friendly and hospitable as Americans are.  One young man said to his girlfriend: "Isn't this wonderful? What a view!"  I waited for the girl to say something equally complimentary about the view or the changing scenery of this gem of the North, but she said this:" I'd rather be in a trash can in New York city!!"

I felt let down and very mad for a few moments.  "What a  thing to say," I mused.  "A lovely place like this and she wants to be in a trash can in New York!!" and I dismissed her as a Philistine, although at that age I didn't really know what a Philistine was but I judged her all the same.  When I think of that occasion now I realise that she was just homesick.  She wanted the familiar sights of home - the people she grew up with, the sights and sounds of a city that never sleeps - lights, noise, familiar accents, familiar smells.  They could keep the beauty of the Lake District as far as she was concerned.  Haven't you felt like that at times?  I know I have. But I couldn't at that time, put on her shoes and see how she felt. I was too young with all the sharpness and decided opinions of youth.

That incident set me thinking about how often we fail to walk in other people's shoes - see things their way. 

I read once about a man who suffered from a crippling condition called locomotor ataxia which made it very difficult for him to control the movements of his limbs.  He went to the local presbytery looking for food as he was homeless.  He was refused and sent away as they thought he was drunk.  It was only much later that they discovered their mistake. He couldn't explain himself so he was dismissed as a drunk and left to starve.  That was an extreme case, but it jogged in me a memory of a similar incident in the place in which I was working at the time.

It is so easy to dismiss people. We refuse to consider other possibilities or to try to see below the surface.  At least I often do.  It is failing to walk in the shoes of others because they are ill-fitting and uncomfortable for us.  Have you ever felt like that?

Blog photos from Microsoft Clip Art and by B Lally and A Kavanagh